Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Straight Out the Bambinos Mouth Vol. 5

A few weeks ago, Teddy was sitting by me scratching an itch. Bug walked over and said, "He got bees, Mom. "

Fast forward to Feb. 28th. I got Bug up first, changed his diaper and put clothes on him. I then got started on Peanut when to no one in particular I hear Bug say, "I got bees."

It took me a minute to register so I look at him and asked,"What did you say Bug?" When I notice that he's moving his head and shoulders in that way that you do when your neck itches.

"My neck got bees, Mom." And then I died laughing while I tried to explain to him that he didn't have fleas. Poor Peanut was still laying on the changing table with his pants halfway up while I tried to stop crying.

The day Bug got "bees."

Hide and seek has become an almost daily occurrence at our house.  The boys are still getting the hang of hiding so usually Boyfriend or I will help them. One night a few weeks ago, we were all playing when Peanut said he wanted to count so the remaining three of us all rushed to hide in our bedroom: Bug on the floor at the side of our bed, Boyfriend behind the door and me in the corner between our two dressers. We sat there what seemed like forever when finally B went out to investigate and noticed that Peanut was also hiding under our dining room table. The game doesn't work so well with everyone hiding.

Sunday was a day of sunshine after a crappy day of rain on Saturday. B and the boys played in the bouncy house while I worked on some Etsy stuff. While taking a break, I went out to join them so B and I laid in the bouncy house while the boys jumped. In an effort to tickle, B started poking me when he exclaimed, "Oh no, Mom's got bees!" as he poked my side.

"I don't have fleas!" I retorted. Peanut then leaned over onto me, looked at me with his big eyes and asked, "Do you have ladybugs mom?"

Friday, March 7, 2014

Picking Preschools

Wednesday morning we checked out our first - and last - preschool. I never really thought I would put the boys in preschool, I never went and was always in advanced classes, but I've been realizing more and more that they should go not only for the educational but also the social opportunities.

I'd read great things about a preschool near work, but I'd also read it was hard to get past the waiting list. How lucky are we that they have availability for next year?!

You know how you instantly have a good feeling about something? That's what happened for both Boyfriend and me here. Bug instantly took off and started playing with the train table (of course, that kid loves his trains.) And after admiring the kids' backpacks Peanut followed right along.  The Director even mentioned that they were showing no signs of apprehension - that's a good thing in my book!

My sister'd brought the boys up to work for us so we could take the least amount of time off so she sat with the boys while B and I talked to the director. She was so nice and you could just tell that she cares so much about the kids.

Class was going on in the corner, they were playing an alphabet game when suddenly we realized that the boys were shouting out answers too! We could tell because a lot of the time when Bug answers a question, he kind of hops along with his answer. My sister said he kept yelling, "Four!"

It was at that moment I realized they are so ready for school.And then I teared up.

I cannot believe my babies are getting so big. They've reached milestones before, but this is the first big one they will hit outside of our home. But they are so ready. The way their faces lit up when they saw the room and as they explored the dinosaurs, the blocks, the marine animals and the cars, I have a good feeling this will be the best place for them next year.

The school is set in a park so when the weather is good they'll get to run outside and play at recess, they'll eat lunch at school with their little classmates - how cute is that?! I can't wait to buy them lunchboxes, backpacks and rain jackets. As hard as it is letting them go, I know this is the right thing to do. They're still talking about "schoo." Except, Bug says he wants to ride the bus, and then he wants to ride the train to school and sometimes it's the trolley. I have a feeling that Bubble Guppies or Team Umizooni has an episode about school.

The other kids yelled and had fun, but were so well behaved, B and I joked that the minute we left they'd be swinging from the rafters :) 

The boys are still on an early nap schedule so after we dropped B off at work, my sister and I took the boys to buy a box of animal crackers. I wanted something relatively mess-free, somewhat healthy that would take a while to eat so they wouldn't fall asleep in the car and screw up their schedule. 

Apparently Bug scarfed them down faster than my sister's ever seen him eat anything. And, before you get on my about coats in the car seat, these are thin and we still get the straps really really tight to protect them. Sadly I had to head back to work, but I was on a high all day so excited that we got into our first-choice preschool.

I'm so sad that they're growing up, but I'm so excited for what's to come for them.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Thoughts On Quitting My Blog

Lately I've really been trying to follow my gut and do things I feel urged to do. One of those is pursue wedding planning more seriously another is to take graphic design classes to help me with my Etsy shop. But, I've also had another, very strong urge.

Lately I've had the thought that I should stop blogging. For the first time in 4 years, I've thought about quitting my blog.

It's not for lack of things to write about, I have a whole list of ideas. I feel like my blog is boring. I don't want to write anything that could keep me from getting a job in the future or that could make a potential wedding couple decide my employer's company is not the right one for them. I don't want to write anything that could potentially embarrass the shit out of Peanut & Lovebug in the future. Because of those reasons, I hold a lot back.

Maybe I feel like quitting because I feel like no one reads. If no one truly read, I would completely open up; I have a lot of things that are heavy on my heart that I just can't write about. I'm afraid that the only people that do read is my family and the last thing I want to do is start any drama. Writing has always been so freeing to me but at a time when I feel like I need to write the most, I'm unable to.

And that makes me mad. I'm mad that I can't freely write whatever I want and know that no one will judge me, or be offended by it, or hold it against me. I know you're probably thinking, "It's your space, do what you want," but sometimes it's just not worth it.

Between juggling twins, a boyfriend, a full-time job, an Etsy shop and trying to get back in shape, I have enough to deal with and I don't need to add drama into my life - it's crazy enough. I know I could just avoid it and keep on keepin' on, but I feel like it's so silly to write about superficial things when there's so much going on.

Maybe I've lost my zest for blogging because none of my really good friends do it anymore. As we've grown up and moved in different directions in our lives, I wonder if this blog has served its purpose and now it's time to let it go. 

I'm also scared to let it go. Although I've been horrible at blogging regularly for almost the last year, I like being able to look back and see how it's I've grown. My first post was some pointless crap shortly after I moved into my first apartment. I blogged through a pregnancy, the first few years of life, and hopefully someday, a wedding. I'm a sentimental person who like to reminisce and this blog is the perfect way to do it. 

This vague-blogging word vomit took a totally different turn than I expected, but it's making me feel a little better about it to the extent that I have written. I'm still not sure if I'll continue the blog; I hope sometime soon I find the joy in it again and I hope that one day soon I will feel more able to freely write what I want because dangit it is my space and it shouldn't be held against me.

I promise I'll be back with a proper post soon (I'm trying not to give myself deadlines anymore) I wouldn't just quit without a proper goodbye.

Have you ever thought about quitting your blog? What made you decide to keep going?


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