Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Thoughts On Quitting My Blog

Lately I've really been trying to follow my gut and do things I feel urged to do. One of those is pursue wedding planning more seriously another is to take graphic design classes to help me with my Etsy shop. But, I've also had another, very strong urge.

Lately I've had the thought that I should stop blogging. For the first time in 4 years, I've thought about quitting my blog.

It's not for lack of things to write about, I have a whole list of ideas. I feel like my blog is boring. I don't want to write anything that could keep me from getting a job in the future or that could make a potential wedding couple decide my employer's company is not the right one for them. I don't want to write anything that could potentially embarrass the shit out of Peanut & Lovebug in the future. Because of those reasons, I hold a lot back.

Maybe I feel like quitting because I feel like no one reads. If no one truly read, I would completely open up; I have a lot of things that are heavy on my heart that I just can't write about. I'm afraid that the only people that do read is my family and the last thing I want to do is start any drama. Writing has always been so freeing to me but at a time when I feel like I need to write the most, I'm unable to.

And that makes me mad. I'm mad that I can't freely write whatever I want and know that no one will judge me, or be offended by it, or hold it against me. I know you're probably thinking, "It's your space, do what you want," but sometimes it's just not worth it.

Between juggling twins, a boyfriend, a full-time job, an Etsy shop and trying to get back in shape, I have enough to deal with and I don't need to add drama into my life - it's crazy enough. I know I could just avoid it and keep on keepin' on, but I feel like it's so silly to write about superficial things when there's so much going on.

Maybe I've lost my zest for blogging because none of my really good friends do it anymore. As we've grown up and moved in different directions in our lives, I wonder if this blog has served its purpose and now it's time to let it go. 

I'm also scared to let it go. Although I've been horrible at blogging regularly for almost the last year, I like being able to look back and see how it's grown...how I've grown. My first post was some pointless crap shortly after I moved into my first apartment. I blogged through a pregnancy, the first few years of life, and hopefully someday, a wedding. I'm a sentimental person who like to reminisce and this blog is the perfect way to do it. 

This vague-blogging word vomit took a totally different turn than I expected, but it's making me feel a little better about it to the extent that I have written. I'm still not sure if I'll continue the blog; I hope sometime soon I find the joy in it again and I hope that one day soon I will feel more able to freely write what I want because dangit it is my space and it shouldn't be held against me.

I promise I'll be back with a proper post soon (I'm trying not to give myself deadlines anymore) I wouldn't just quit without a proper goodbye.

Have you ever thought about quitting your blog? What made you decide to keep going?


5 comments:

  1. I was very seriously here a couple of months ago. I got to the point where I didn't like blogging at all anymore... I am a blog designer, so WTH. lol. I. And to realize that I really felt like I had outgrown my blog. The name, the way I used to post, everything. Then Chris had me look into a new platform and I fell in love with it. But then I was stuck with the name issue again. I will always be momma bear, but I needed something that I felt represented me a little bitter. So we came up with a new name and BAM! I fell in love with blogging all over again. I do have a small filter just in case family reads it, but not too much because I know that they normally won't. In the end a little rebranding is what really helped me. I do hope you find your passion for it again. I struggled with it for over a year and am happy that it turned out the way that it did. I always read your posts and would miss you if you went away!

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  2. I read your blog! Lol!! But, am in the same boat. I haven't posted in awhile, and not sure when or if, I will again. I felt mine was very boring, just a daily journal. With not a lot of excitement. And when I did write about things in my life that I was going through, or that bothered me, I often got flack from people in my life that read it. Everyone always thought I was writing about THEM. Wether I was just putting my feelings down, someone always seemed to take it personally. I felt I could never write the truth about how I felt, I felt I had to hold back. It sucked. I'm taking a break, maybe indefinitely. But, I still like to read blogs, yours included,! Lol!

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  3. You put into words EXACTLY how I feel very frequently. I hold back from posting about things I REALLY want to write about because I don't want it to cause unnecessary drama. I don't want people (that know me in real life) to read into everything I say, get offended, or assume I'm talking about them. Because of that, I find myself holding back....and then I just don't want to write. And then I get frustrated because I don't feel like I'm expressing myself. I'm not sure what the answer is, I'm still trying to figure that out. :)

    Erika

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  4. I have thought about quitting but it's the only baby book my twins will have one day. I too have quit putting opinions that may insult anyone I have stepped in it with family and such. I also hate that people i used to follow just stopped writing. I mean i hate not knowing how the story continues :(

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  5. Hey, I have a question I wanted to ask you regarding your blog. If you could send me an email when you get this, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks!
    -Tiffany
    tpham(at)dropcam(dot)com

    ReplyDelete

I'd love to hear what you have to say, I always ALWAYS write back so please make sure you have an email attached to your profile :)

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