Friday, February 8, 2013

Whiney Little lovebug

Thank you all for your encouraging comments on yesterday's post. I'm super excited about the opportunity and what it might mean for my family.

I knew eventually, I'd be putting my foot in my mouth when I declared that I didn't find parenting difficult even though I always followed that statement with a "yet."

For the first time, we're at the point where I don't know what to do.

Up to this point, I feel like we've been able to take our parenting milestones in stride and sometimes we even have the "I've got this!' feeling. But lately, and especially this week, I'm at a loss.

Bug has started whining.

He whines all day long for anything and everything.

If he wants up he reaches his arms up, puckers his lips, and repeats "Ooooohhh, ooohhhh" over and over.

If he wants his daddy's vintage Hot Wheels to play with he reaches out his arm, puckers his lips, and repeats "Ooooohhh, ooohhhh," over and over.

If he refuses to eat his dinner until he gets his milk he puckers his lips, get the idea.

Not only is it annoying but it's frustrating because, up, car and milk are all words he's been able to say for months. 

I'm at a loss as to what to do.
Don't let his cute little face fool you.
Usually, I say what he wants (to which he nods his head over and over) and ask him to say it at least 5 times while gently asking him to use his words before giving in to him and giving it to him. I'm afraid that's just going to reinforce that he doesn't have to talk and he can still get his way.

Should I ignore him?

Should I repeat what he wants and tell him to use his words over and over until he finally does it?

I can out-stubborn my child any day, but then I worry that I'll be mentally scaring him and that will be his first memory - a mommy who doesn't meet his needs. And that's why I give in.

The annoyance of his whining is not as bad as me worrying that I'm impeding his development.

I went into psychology so I wouldn't screw my kids up too bad, and now I've had two instances this month already.

I guess I can count myself lucky that the hard stuff took two years to happen.

What would you do? Are your kids whiners? How did you deal?

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  1. My 3 y/o started doing the same thing when she started talking, I would say the word for whatever she wanted, but she wouldn't get it until she used her words...If she continued to whine, I would just ignore her. I don't think it scarred her too bad :) Good luck!

  2. when my daughter started talking, i would say the word for her and make her repeat it the best of her ability. if she didnt, i would ask her a couple more times. if she still refused i would tell her "you cant get it til you use your words" to which she would go pout then come back and say what she had to say. now that she is 2 and talks like she is 13 (and whines like it too) i always am reminding her to "ask nicely" so she remembers to use her please and thank yous.

  3. My twins are 27 months and my daughter is a big whiner! I always tell her that she is not going to get anything if she can't ask nicely in a big girl voice, which sometimes results in further whining but most of the time she will ask again with less of a whine and I'll tell her how much better that was and I thank her for using her big girl voice - not sure if it's working, but it's better than nothing I guess! Good luck!

  4. I first ask them to use their words. If that doesn't work, I ignore them until they do!

  5. The great thing is that you've already narrowed this whining thing down to a speech issue. That is half the battle- figuring out where to focus your energies. What do you think of trying positive reinforcement? - making a big deal out of it (clapping/ high fives, etc) every time he does "use his words." And if it persists, I'd also say bring it up w/ your pediatrician at your 30-month checkup, if not before.


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