Ever since the first Mini Threads was a bust, I really started to think, who am I writing for? What began as a blog for me to chronicle decorating my first apartment an all the other fun things I do, quickly turned into a mish-mash of my life, things that make me laugh, fun things I do with B then turned into a mommy blog.
But I'm not very open. I wish I was. I wish I had the confidence to hit publish without worrying about hurting others feelings, without wondering if I offended someone.
The thing holding me back is....my family. Believe it or not, the people that are supposed to love you unconditionally are the ones I'm hiding things from. Are they going to judge me because I've gone back to B two different times and then stood by his side while we went through another rough patch? Are they going to be upset that I said I wanted an empty hospital room for about 10 minutes after I had the Bambinos? Are they going to judge me for working concerts or doing fun things with B instead of being with my kids? Are they going to judge me for spending money on myself instead of the Bambinos? Are they offended I'm even writing this post? I have no idea if my family is actually judging me, but I fear that they will based on what I write, just as I fear I will offend them with what I write.
Blogging has been fuel to arguments between my mom and me, and even some other family members, but then yesterday I read this article and realized, this is my life, my story, my book. None of what I put on here is ever the full story, I can never account for every detail so if I'm worried about people judging me because of what I put on here, I'm probably worried for no reason. This is supposed to be a record of my life, my thoughts, my dreams, and the crazy antics of my life with a man-child and twin boys.
It's going to be a slow, uphill climb, but I'm going to try my darndest to get back to writing for me and for no one else. I will probably never put it all out there like a lot of my other favorite bloggers, but I'm going to blog what I think is important and try not to worry what everyone else thinks.
Please don't judge me?
And, just because I can:
|Yes, they were still in their jammies at 2pm, we're not judging, remember?|
The link up is tomorrow! I hope you'll join me