Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Letter To Lindsay

Two years ago, on my birthday, I wrote a letter to my 5 year old self sharing all the insights I now know as a grown up. This year, I'm writing one to myself last year telling myself all the wonderful lessons I will learn in 2011. Get yourself a piece of cake, a glass of champagne....

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Dear Almost 28 Year Old Lindsay,

This year will be one of the most fantastical years and one of the hardest years you will ever live through. You can't wait for your babies to come out and let me tell you, other than feeling them move inside you, you will not miss pregnancy at all. Having them out in the world is much better than keeping them to yourself. The joy and love those two babies will bring to your life is unmatched by anything you've ever felt. They will bring you so many smiles and laughs that having them in your life will be hands down, the best thing that has ever happened to you.

You will be exhausted. The first three months really are the hardest. You will feel like you're doing nothing but nursing, and in a way you are. Every fiber of your being will revolve around those two precious Bambinos. But you know what? The very week that you go back to work they will start to sleep through the night. You will be blessed with two very good night sleepers but naptime will continue to be a struggle. They'll get the hang of sleeping in general, eventually.

Right around the time that you feel you're getting the hang of parenthood, your relationship with B is going to throw a wrench in everything. It will be the most difficult time you two have ever faced. You will feel sad, and lonely and scared, hang in there! You two will make it through and be communicating much better than ever. You will finally feel like a team and a family of four rather than two parents trying to make it through. In the end, the difficult times will be worth it because you know how much you care for each other and are committed to each other and you know if you made it through that you could make it through anything. Your relationship really is better and stronger. You will start 2012 on such a good note! Keep that energy going.

Realize that your babies are small and maybe you should take them to the pediatrician sooner. Trust me. You will beat yourself up for months about this. Don't listen to people who don't have twins. They have no idea. Two babies is a completely different ballgame. People will keep telling you, "Twins are naturally smaller." They don't know from experience. Putting them on formula is not the ideal situation, but life will be so much less stressful once you quit breastfeeding.

Take the boys to meet your Great-Grandpa. Not many kids have a great-grandparent alive let alone a great-great-grandparent. He will pass away before you take the boys and you will very much regret it. 

Around 10-11 months you really find your stride in parenting. It took a bit after you quit nursing but you and B make a great team and have a definite rhythm going. Th Bambinos will really start to show their different personalities around this time also. They will make you laugh daily. You guys will have so much fun as a family.

You'll be a sap on Christmas. You'll take a moment and realize that you have exactly what you've wanted. Although it's sad to not have tiny newborns anymore, things only get better. They return a love that is so deep and so meaningful, nothing has compared. Ever.

You have so many hopes and dreams for the next year, although it will be heard relationship-wise,  you will grow into a better person, a better girlfriend and a better mother. You are strong, you will make it through and you will have just as many hopes and dreams for 2012. Your struggles (and joys) will help you find yourself, help you figure out who you are and what's important to you. But you know what? You've got a good grasp already; you already know these three guys are important to you, but you have no idea how important just yet.

Happy Birthday Lindsay, enjoy 28 because 29 will bring on a whole new set of adventures.

You can also read the birthday letter I wrote for my Bambinos last year here


7 comments:

  1. So sweet & so wise! It would probably be a good exercise to write these types of letters every year. Especially years like this that were so profound for you! I'm so glad to hear that things are going better with B; we'll catch up more on that ASAP! xoxo

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  2. This is sooo cute!! I enjoyed reading it

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  3. Awwwwww!!! You made me tear up. Glad things are going in the right direction sweet friend. I cherish you....keep your beautiful head UP! Much love...

    p.s. How do I not have your day on my calendar? Must.change.that!!!! Now. When is it? And thank you for my sweet bday virtual ecard. Even though I missed it???? Say whaaaaa? Going to check my spam folder....

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  4. Such a good idea to write letters like this. Thanks for sharing it with us. And glad to hear things are better with your relationship and hopefully they'll keep getting better from here!

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  5. I love your blog! :) I can't wait to read more! :) Erin

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  6. Love this idea....wow, would I could have done with some letters to myself.

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  7. I love writing letters to my self. So naturally, I fell in love with this post too. You've got a beautiful blog. Thank you for writing.

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