Monday, August 15, 2011

Mama Says: Baby P Makes Three....

It's another Mama Says! This time, we're hearing from Loni at Baby P Makes Three... I have to admit, I was very jealous that she got back into such great shape so quickly after having P. Anyway, here's what she has to say about being a Mama:
 I first laid eyes on Dustin when I was 18 years old and a freshman in college.  I remember thinking he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen ….and then he opened his mouth.  I don't know if it was because he was 'shy' or if he was really just as arrogant as I thought he was but either way, we didn't make a connection.

Fast forward 4 years to the age of myspace.  There was his pretty little face on a friend of mine's page.  I thought 'oh what the heck' and sent him a friend request.  Shortly after he wrote back the cheesiest message I had ever received and somehow, with all it's cheesy pick up lines and  ridiculous compliments I am sure he sent to 50 other girls on his myspace page, it made me laugh and we hung out a day later.  After that we were inseparable.

Within 6 months of dating he was offered a job in California (we lived in Michigan).  He asked me to go with him.   At first I was unsure and all of our families were pretty much against it for their own ridiculous (selfish) reasons.  But I had faith in us and took the leap!  

The rest is history.

A super long engagement (due to planning a wedding from across the country), another cross country move, a beautiful wedding, another move to another state, and a positive pee stick later we became parents to the most beautiful, sweetest little lady I've ever laid eyes on.  Sure I'm biased but I dare you to argue with me.

We had originally thought we would wait to have children but once we moved to Illinois Dustin got baby fever.  Yep, that's right.  He was the one wanting a baby, I was still a little iffy.  After a month or so of thinking things through I too jumped on board thinking it would take awhile to get pregnant.  Much to my surprise 2 months later I officially had a bun in the oven.  

We found out at 15 weeks that the baby on board had two x chromosomes.  I had a feeling from the day I saw the two pink lines it was a girl but my lack of pregnancy symptoms had people convincing me it was a boy.  I'm not going to lie.  All my life I thought I'd have a boy first.  I WANTED a boy first.  Maybe that came from having a big brother and thought my precious little girl would need someone to watch over her.  When I found out it was a girl I was a little sad but a few short days later I was beyond thrilled to think I was going to have a daughter.  And come to find out, I think she is already feisty enough that she will never need a boy to watch over her.   I vowed not to paint her room pink and dress her in all pink, but boy did that change.  Somehow the tom boy in me disappeared completely and I was seeing pink.  Tutus, bows, glitter, I had to have it all. And yes, somehow her nursery walls ended up…well…pink!

My pregnancy was pretty boring.  My midwife had a few concerns about preterm labor due to a surgery I had when I was young but after seeing the high risk doctor a few times for ultrasounds on my cervix I was cleared and able to continue my pregnancy with my two amazing midwives.  Funny how they were concerned about preterm labor and I ended up being late.  I would much rather her be late than too early any day though.  

On October 27, 2010 at 1:41pm my stubborn girl finally decided it was time to leave my comfortable womb.  Unlike mommy who is always early to everything, she decided she needed some encouragement from some cervidal to get her butt moving.  A week late.  Giving birth was the most amazing experience of my life.  It was the most excruciating pain I had ever felt and afterwards the most incredible love I had ever felt.  I knew I loved her from the moment I found out I was pregnant but actually meeting this perfect little stranger took the love to a entirely different level.  When I laid eyes on this person that we created, it was breathtaking.  My very own mini me.  A head full of hair, a cute little nose, and big ears!  I had been watching every baby show on tv and expected her to come out all funky looking.  You know, head misshaped, covered in blood, guts, and gunk, grey colored skin but she was the complete opposite.  A diva since the day she was born, I tell ya!  I think she cleaned herself off and did her hair before coming out into the world.  She was perfectly pink, had only a tiny bit of blood on her perfect big ol' head.
We had a rough first few months, from breastfeeding pain (nobody tells you about bleeding nipples or how bad it can hurt some women), to colic that I thought would never end.  Some days I wondered what the heck we had gotten ourselves into and if life would ever settle down, or at least quiet down (ohh, my poor, poor, ears) a bit.  I felt so helpless for awhile and I was sure that I was the worlds worst mama.  It had to be the most frustrating time of my entire life.  It was literally hours and hours a day of nothing but screaming bloody murder.  Car rides were even worse.  Whoever said babies love cars obviously hadn't met Baby P.  It was like she was Satan's spawn!  I took her to the doctor a few times looking for answers but every single time she checked out 100% fine.  Which frustrated me even more.  At one point I was hoping something was wrong, an ear infection?  An allergy?  SOMETHING to explain why this was happening.  And then one day, something amazing happened.  She stopped screaming.  She just stopped!  

I feel literally like it was overnight.  She just woke up one morning and turned off her grumpy switch.  It was over!  Ever since then she has been so easy going and sweet.  Content with just playing with her toys on the floor and talking to her dogs.

Did Dustin take her to an exorcism that night?  I seriously wonder that.
That had to be my biggest challenge not only as a parent but in my life in general.  I was completely and utterly exhausted (did I mention P didn't like to sleep but 1-2 hours at a time for about 6.5 months?), I had sore boobies, swamp ass (no really - you smell horrible after childbirth and nobody warns you about this beforehand - if you've had a baby you know what I'm talking about), and on top of all that I had to listen to screaming all day long.  I don't know how I didn't end up in the nut house.  Thank god Dustin works from home because sometimes I would have to just go into his office and say "your turn" and go get in the shower so I couldn't hear her crying and then I would cry.  I would cry and cry and cry just as much as her.  The guilt was horrible.  I wanted to fix her so bad but I couldn't.  Mama's with a colicky baby, I feel your pain.  I know how hard it is but there is a light at the end of that dark and long tunnel I promise.  It seems like it will last forever, but it doesn't.  Luckily in baby time, it goes by so, so, so fast.  I barely remember those days.  And honestly, that sort of makes me sad.  Sort of.
My life has changed so much since becoming a parent.  Everything I do I think of P and how it will effect her.  I have always been a homebody but now it's even worse.  I don't want to go out unless it's with her to somewhere probably for her, be it a playgroup, a museum, the zoo, the library.  All these things I want to show her that she won't even remember doing at this age.  I have become such a worry wort.  I still have yet to leave her alone with anyone!  I know, I know, I know, I probably should and I probably should go on a date with Dustin some day but it's hard.  And considering we live far away from any family and most friends it makes it even harder.  Our date nights now have a third (incredibly adorable) wheel, Baby P.  I worry about everything and question myself over and over again on things.  Sometimes I freak out over little things like if I forgot to buy organic strawberries to make her food.  Are non organic strawberries going to cause her to have ADHD some day?  I tell myself that all parents make mistakes and if that's the worst thing I have done thus far I think I might be doing okay.  It is so, so, so, scary to walk out of that hospital after giving birth knowing that you are in charge of this little person.  You have to make sure she grows up happy and healthy.  You have to show her the ways of the world and teach her right from wrong.  I guess all those things are a little more important than organic strawberries.  

Thanks Loni! Colick was one of my biggest fears while I was pregnant, it's so nice to hear that you survived! Wanna get yourself in on some of the cute-bows-that-P-wears-action? Loni makes them, and you can order them from her! (No, she did not ask me to plug her shop, I just want to.) 

I hope you'll come back next week for a post from Annie at Our Little Family....wanna be a featured Mama? Just let me know in the comments or shoot me an email!

6 comments:

  1. awe thanks for the plug. I just realized I wrote my whole life story to talk about parenthood hahaha :)

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  2. I loved reading about your story Loni. P is absolutely beautiful just like you. Love the pictures

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  3. Gorgeous mommy and daughter duo. Swamp ass totally has been laughing and crying. I don't know what that is??? But I am freaking dyin' over here...LOL. Going to follow now.

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  4. p.s. above comment is from melifaif! I am all outta your life again????? WHYYYYYYY?????? I am SO not an anonymous person. I hate this status. UGH.....

    www.melifaif.blogspot.com

    And don't forget that!!!!! Umph.

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  5. What an awesome story. You and the lil one are precious!

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  6. aaww...what a precious baby girl and beautiful parents!!! I always feared colic too when I was pregnant but was very fortunate that my little girl didn't go through any of that!!

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