Friday, August 26, 2011

Fear

Recently, someone asked me If I Were Not Afraid I Would_____. Well that's a loaded question. If I were not afraid, I would do a lot of things. I feel like I'm at a pivotal turning point in my life where I want more. I've just kind of felt.....unfulfilled lately. I feel like I'm meant to do something more than I am right now.

How did I answer her question? If I were not afraid, I would sit at home and play with the Bambinos all day. Sadly, that is not an option. I wish it were. I don't think I could ever not bring in income, mainly because Boyfriend and I are not married and I don't think he should have to pay for my car. But, I'm terrified of missing firsts.
My sister has gone back to school so the new nanny started Monday. She said the Bambinos were playing with each other's feet cracking up, and I missed it. This is the first time they've made each other laugh and I missed it!

That kills me.

If I were not afraid, I would market small businesses from home. I've been in marketing long enough, I know there's people out there who need good ideas, I know I can help their businesses grow.

If I were not afraid, I would take a photography class. I will do this, but I don't feel like I can make a living without a ton more practice. I've wanted to take photography since high school. It's time for me to bite the bullet and just do it, even if it's something for me to keep on the side as a hobby.
If I were not afraid, I would open a cupcake shop/bakery. It's no secret around here that I can't cook. I LOVE to bake though. I love the feeling you get from bringing home-baked goods to parties and seeing smiles on people's face knowing, "I did that." I even have a name.

I've always thought I was meant to have a home-based or self-run business. With the arrival of my precious Bambinos, I feel the tug even more. What's holding me back is the financial aspect. I don't feel like I can tell someone that I'm not married to, "Hey, I'm going to quit my job and we're going to live off your income for a while so I can get this project off the ground." I think he'd be supportive, but I still just can't bring myself to do it.

Fear's a funny thing, isn't it?

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I really do. And luckily for me, I'm one of the bosses so I do so much more than pass out bumper stickers at events (which is how most people think of Promotions.) But, I can't be doing the same thing when I'm 50 and our station is aimed at 20-year-olds. I'm thinking much more long term here.

I just have the feeling I'm meant to do something much more creative, even if it's just on the side, for now. Now if only I can get rid of that fear.

If you were not afraid, what would you do?

2 comments:

  1. hmmmm....fear is a funny thing! I think that it keeps me from trying SO many things. I think that I am a creature of habit...but it probably all does stem from the fear of the unknown!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Playing with each others feet? Silly kids

    ReplyDelete

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